Agree on what you are making, together
Ask whether they would like to tell you a story, and whether they are comfortable with it being recorded. Explain where you plan to keep it and who you hope might hear it. “Would you like to tell me about this photograph? I would love to keep your voice, just for us to begin with” is more inviting than arriving with a long interview.
Let them choose the topic, the time and whether to stop. Agree that they can leave a question unanswered and review what is kept or shared. If you later want to send a recording to somebody else, ask again. A willing conversation matters more than filling a family-history checklist.
Prepare a little; keep the conversation natural
Choose a quiet, comfortable place and a short first session. Put the phone close enough to hear them without holding it in their face. Make a brief test recording, play it back together, and check that the microphone is not covered. Charge the device and leave enough storage space.
Bring one object, photograph, recipe or piece of music that means something to them. Ask what they notice first. Try one question at a time, leave room for pauses and follow a detail they seem interested in. If a question feels unwelcome, move on. You are listening to a person, not completing a form.
Twelve questions to choose from
- Who is in this photograph, and what do you remember about that day?
- What was the home you grew up in like?
- What did people in your family call one another?
- What did you do for fun after school?
- Who made you feel welcome when you were young?
- What was a normal day at your first job?
- Which meal or recipe would you like us to remember?
- How did you meet someone who became important to you?
- Which place did you love returning to?
- What surprised you about becoming an adult?
- Is there a family story you would tell differently?
- What would you like to tell us that we have never thought to ask?
A useful follow-up is often “What happened next?” or “What was that like for you?” Ask for clarification without supplying the answer. “Who was with you?” leaves more room than “Was Uncle Marco there?”
Listen without turning it into a memory test
A person's account may wander, repeat a favourite detail or be unsure of a date. You can note “approximately” and return to a detail later. Do not fill a pause by insisting on the version you remember. If your own recollection differs, keep both accounts attributed to the people who told them.
If the conversation brings up something difficult, ask whether they would rather change the subject or stop. Recording a life story does not require a person to revisit every part of it. You can preserve a meaningful conversation about an ordinary good day.
Keep their voice alongside any written version
Keep the original audio even if you make a transcript or a shorter written story. A laugh, an accent or the way someone says a name may matter as much as the sentences. Give the recording a useful title and add the recording date, the speaker's name and any approximate story dates they gave you.
Check names and unfamiliar words together. Separate your editorial notes from their words. A transcription or AI draft can make a mistake; it should not quietly become the authority for what happened. Before sharing, show them the version you intend to use, including the surrounding photographs and captions.
Keep an extra copy you can find and open, and think carefully about who can access it. A family relationship does not mean everyone has permission to receive every private story.
Leave room for the next conversation
End while there is still something you would both enjoy returning to. Ask, “Would you like to do this again?” A small recurring conversation can feel easier than one ambitious interview. Send or show them the saved story so that the process feels like something you are making together.
In Narravita, you can help a loved one keep their life story with their permission, or invite them to add their perspective to a shared memory. Invited people can contribute free. With AI help enabled, useful follow-up questions can appear automatically, and you can skip or pause them. Changes to the wording and chapter drafts remain subject to review; the original recording stays distinct. Personal provides continuing capture and reviewed book tools. A Family subscription pays for independent Personal seats—it does not automatically open somebody else's archive.
Let them set the pace. Keep the voice, the context and the choice to share.
